chasing serenity.

I have actually been keeping up with the 2x daily regimen for Proactiv. I am very proud of myself for keeping up with it and trying to get into the routine and habit of using it as directed. I generally lose interest, become discouraged or lazy. This time I’ve been sticking with it pretty well.

Only the first week into it and while I am not pleased with the results I can definitely feel the difference in my skin. It hasn’t dried out like most people complain about; it’s actually been pretty good and I’ve only used the moisturizer once when I could feel that my skin felt a little… ‘not right’. The roughness is going away which has been my biggest complaint about my skin aside from the actual blemishes. I can touch my face and it feels more smooth.

I realize that 1. these pictures don’t really show progress and 2. I actually look WORSE *laughs* but it’s a combination of the lighting and my exhaustion from work. If I had the ability to get better pictures of myself, there is a small visible progress if one knows what they are looking at and for.

But it’s a step in the right direction and seeing the progress only makes me happy that it wasn’t a total waste of money.

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

I’m not a fan of penguins at all. But this is pretty damned funny.

Penguin: I’m hidin’ on your boat, kthnx.
Whales: WTF CHEATER

According to the video comments, the pod was just teaching a younger whale how to hunt and that they could have taken the penguin at any time and according to the captain/driver of the boat the boat and people were not in any danger from the whales.

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

So I wound up being 5 episodes behind on Supernatural. Seeing as how there are only 3 more episodes left in this season, I figured it was time to get caught up. So I had my own little personal marathon today.

Love Dean, as always. Adore Castiel, like usual. Sam… not so much. I’ve never liked his character, which is funny because fans tend to be either a Dean or a Sam fan. I may be biased for Dean since I’m such a fan of Jensen Ackles. (If I could have a Dean and Alec sammich, I’d be in heaven)

Anyhoodle, I am very happy that there will be a sixth season. I just don’t see it going any further than that; neither does Jared Padalecki. Padalecki has stated that if the show is no longer compelling after a possible sixth season, that he will not return for more. Which is a relief, actually. I mean… how much further than the show go?

Season 1: Look for Daddy, find out about the Colt and the yellow-eyed demon. Hunt these two down.
Season 2: … still hunting the yellow-eyed demon. Oopsy, open up Hell’s gates and let the demons out!
Season 3: Run, Dean, Run! Oh, and hunt down all those nasty little demons you boys let out.
Season 4: Stop Lilith from freeing the devil. This doesn’t work out so well. Angels abound.
Season 5: Apocalypse, the devil, God, etc. etc.

Honestly. Where do you even go from there? It’s been a great run and I’m sure Season 6 will be a nice little wrap up for everyone, giving it a pretty red ribbon in a tidy little bow.

I must say that I will miss the escapades of the Winchester boys.

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

Shalador’s Lady by Anne Bishop


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Ah, Anne Bishop and the world that you have created for the Black Jewels series. How I love thee and the creations you have brought to your readers. This is a continuation of Cassidy’s story, with enough threads to the characters we already know and love to make this Queen and her court (and troubles) not seem like a completely different world from the one we are used to reading about. The blend was fantastic.

I found myself doubled over with laughter at parts, in tears at others (Khollie!!) and overall I devoured this book every spare moment I had but yet tried to pace myself because I knew it would eventually come to end. Speaking of ends, while I found the ending to be rushed and… rather bland, I recognized that it was true to the character of Cassidy and was more fitting than anything that would have been more… dramatic?

Dear Goddess the SCELTIES. It seemed like every time I was reading and one would pop into the story, I was giggling or just outright laughing at their antics and their view of the world. Khollie was by far my favorite, of course, and I was in tears when he was in danger. Tears of sorrow and fear and then of joy. It is very rare that a character–especially a minor non-human one at that!–brought such emotions out of me.

All in all, my reservations about reading yet another book that didn’t center and revolve around the usual cast of character were for naught. The new characters have proven themselves and etched their way into my heart just as much as every other character had. Moreso, perhaps, BECAUSE of the big shoes they had to fill. Five stars, all the way.

View all my reviews >>

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

So I despise the Easter holiday. Mostly because it is one of two days out of the year that the pretend-religious people come out. The zealots I can handle. The casual believers I can handle. It is the people like my mother who want to celebrate the holiday and not even really what it is about.

The fun part about the horrific holiday dinners of yesteryear was my preference to keep myself out of the Christian and Catholic discussions; when pushed I would explain how it was originally a Pagan holiday and give the examples of how it still exists in the modern day and how even the zealots are celebrating that which they refuse to accept. Good times. Makes me so very popular with my family. /sarcasm

but really, it’s how I managed to get through most holidays. I just wish that those who preach religion would remember to Love Thy Neighbor and respect their fellows.

Have I mentioned yet that I acually hate Easter? My mother pretty much ruined that for me.

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

Rule #1: If you open this you take it.
Rule #2: You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.
Rule #3: Tag THIRTEEN people.

Answer True or False
Q: Been arrested? False
Q: Do you like someone? no comment.
Q: Held a snake? True
Q: Been suspended from school? False
Q: Sang karaoke? True
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? True
Q: Laughed until you started crying? True
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? True
Q: Kissed in the rain? False
Q: Sang in the shower? True
Q: Sat on a roof top? True
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? False
Q: Broken a bone? False
Q: Shaved your head? False (came close!)
Q: Played a prank on someone? True
Q: Shot a gun? True
Q: Donated Blood? False

LAST PERSON.
1. You hung out with? Kim & Jenn
2. You texted? Rick
3. You were in a car with? Rick
4. Went to the movies with? Charlie
5. Person you went to shop with? Kim and Jenn
6. You talked on the phone? my mother
7. Made you laugh? Luckily there are too many to list.
8. You hugged? Rick

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY…
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or Right? Right
4. Sunny or rainy? Want: Sunny; Currently: Rainy
5. Where do you live? Pennsylvania
6. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? Yes, thank the Goddess
7. Do you want to get married? Not currently.
8. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
9. What time is it? 1:29pm
10. Are you afraid of commitment? No
11. What is your greatest hope/wish? To be financially stable and secure
(there was no 12…)
13. Current mood? Fucking exhausted which means I’m cranky.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU…
1. Kissed someone? Yes
2. Sang? Yes
3. Listened to music? Yes
4. Danced Crazy? No
5. Cried? Yes
6. Liked someone you can’t have? No

25 FIRSTS …..
1. Who was your first prom date? Aaron
2. Who was your first roommate? Rick and Chris (my aunt Lisa doesn’t count)
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? pomegranate martinis. (several)
4. What was your first job? payment processing with Chase mortgage
5. What was your first car? 1990 Ford Tempo
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? Either my great-grandfather or my old babysitter, Robin. I don’t remember if Pampa had a viewing but I know Robin didn’t because her body wasn’t, um, in any condition to be viewed. She was buried with her baby girl, Jennifer.
(where is 7??!)
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. H-something. Hensley?
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? To be honest I really don’t remember when my first airplane ride was. I want to say it was to Florida but I’m not sure if that was the first time or not.
11. Who was your first best friend? Jessica and Andrea
12. Who was your first best friend in high school? Marissa
13. Where was your first sleepover? too many to name. Does Grandma’s House count?
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I don’t call anyone anymore.
15. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? My mother’s second wedding.
16. What’s the first thing you did when you got up this morning? Wondered why my feet were stuck under something heavy when there was a cat already pressed up against my chest. Oh, Lili was against my chest and Charlie was sleeping on my feet. Well that was different.
17. What was the first concert you went to? Savage Garden
18. What was the last concert you went to? Billy Joel & Elton John
19. First tattoo or piercing? piercing: ears & tattoo: eyebrows (cosmetic)
20. First celebrity crush? Jonathan Brandis
21. Current celebrity crush? Jensen Ackles :D
22. First crush? I realized later in life that my crushes were more of a way to fit in with the girls at school. So I’m not really sure who my “first crush” was.
23. Current crush? Pfft.
24. First date? Uh… ever?! I don’t remember!
25. First time you tied your shoe laces? ……. really? I have no idea.

Five names you go by:
1. I
2. am
3. not
4. answering
5. this. So ha.

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Easter Seals volleyball challenge shirt
2. my comfy comfy PJ pants
3. … underwear.

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. to lose some excess baggage
2. money!
3. … to not have to go to work today because I magically have the day off.

Two things you did last night:
1. played with wordpress
2. re-organized my DVDs to the P-titles and ran out of room for Q through Z. O.o – oh and while organizing my DVDs I found my missing car title! Yay!

Two things you ate today:
1. I haven’t
2. eaten today

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. my mother (uuuuuugh)
2. little brother Kyle hehehe

Three things you are going to do today/next 12 hours:
1. go to work
2. get screamed at by a member/driver/shop dispatcher/shop owner
3. come home and whimper that there are still four days left until my weekend.

Favorite beverages:
1. Pepsi
2. apple juice
3. energy drinks… Full Throttle and the Amped Lemonade being the favorites.

I’m not actually tagging anyone. So nyah.

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

My mother recently adopted two dogs from a woman about to lose her job and home. A springer spaniel naked Bucky and a cocker spaniel named Bear. This brings the pack total to six. Three females, three males.

The next day, one of the dogs was almost killed.

My mother was heading out to pick up Kyle from school. The three spaniels all got excited and she let them go for a car ride. They picked up Kyle and headed home. At some point one of the boys got their head stuck in the window, having stepped on the automatic window button and rolled the window up on himself. By the time my mom pulled over, both she and the dog were screaming. She couldn’t get the window to roll down.

Kyle didn’t even hesitate. He jumped out of the car and smashed the window with his elbow. Both the dog and Kyle are fine!!

Go Kyle!!

Originally published at The Killing Edge. You can comment here or there.

My head has been in all kinds of places lately. I cannot seem to concentrate on any one thing for too long. I am not sure if it is boredom, a refusal to be tied down, excitement… Whatever it is, I strongly believe it is what is affecting my sleep.

For the past two weeks, my inability to get any decent sleep has gotten so much worse. One night/morning I could not sleep until 8am. Even after finally falling asleep to hopefully get five hours in before having to get up for work, I woke up around 10am and was up for another hour or so before managing to get another hour and a half in before work.

I want to DO things. I am limited by time, energy, and funds to do most of the things I want to do, though. I guess I just have to continue to keep my head down and plug away.

I’d like to say that by this point, blogging on a daily basis had become habitual. But it hasn’t. It is mostly due to a lack of energy and overabundance of other things I need to be doing. It is partly because I just have nothing nice to say.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Which is funny because it’s not that I’m afraid to speak out, I just don’t care to. I am far from afraid to voice my opinions on things. I am far from afraid of people. Sure, I am usually more diplomatic than those around me and I have a verbal/written filter in firmly in place that allows me to “hold my tongue”. But generally these are employed simply because I do not want to utterly break someone down because once I rip into someone, I do not let go. I have never lost a fight that I have willingly gone into, be it physical or otherwise. I choose my battles; I decide what is worth my time and what is not.

The holidays are fast approaching and I am finding myself in a state of despair. My financial situation is not good and I will wind up in tears if I am unable to buy presents for my friends and family. But as the days wind to an end, one after the next, I find myself closer and closer to the deadline and no closer in my list of people to buy for. It was bad last year but people understood that I had driven myself into the red with my trying to get out to CA to tend to my father’s situation as well as get us back across the country. I am positive that those who matter most would absolutely understand but I have no real good excuse this year. I have too many financial obligations, especially this month and the upcoming months, that just kept me from managing to put any real sum of money away. It upsets me. I am better than this.

Times like these, I wish that I had been able to spend more time developing my various crafting skills so that maybe I could just do handmade gifts. But as it is, I am self-taught and still on my way to trying out various mediums and techniques. Nothing at all worth trying to give as a gift or even selling to get money for gifts.

Show me what it’s like to be the last one standing and teach me wrong from right; I’ll show you what I can be. Say it for me, say it to me, and I’ll leave this life behind me. Say it if it’s worth saving me. Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me. With these broken wings I’m fallin’ and all I see is you. These city walls ain’t got no love for me. I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story and oh I scream for you. Come please I’m callin’ and all I need from you – Hurry I’m fallin’, I’m fallin’.

Linkin Park – “Savin’ Me